


Anechoic Chamber

by yersifanel



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 02:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yersifanel/pseuds/yersifanel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perhaps he was so used to the white noise in his head he had never consider it could just not be there, and that was why, at the second Marcus pressed that button and the white noise simply vanished, that Khan knew for sure that his family was dead.</p><p>With nothing else to live for, Khan allows the Enterprise crew to arrest him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anechoic Chamber

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Безэховая камера](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1337710) by [Seivarden_Vendaai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seivarden_Vendaai/pseuds/Seivarden_Vendaai)



> Fill for [this prompt](http://strek-id-kink.livejournal.com/2836.html?thread=1296148) at the STID Kink Meme. Is not *exactly* what OP asked for, but it does cover 99% of the idea and adds some angst, plus h/c... because of reasons. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Khan had every reason to suspect that Marcus killed every single one of those he held most dear, but it wasn't until he was about to shoot at the head officers of Starfleet when he beyond doubt knew his family was truly and utterly gone.

It came like a flash, a lighting carrying the worse of omens, so sudden and so terrible he almost chock on it. It must have taken less than five seconds for Marcus to find his line of vision, smirk and press a simply button in a remote control in his hand, no more than that to destroy him... and he didn't even had to touch him to accomplish such goal.

Perhaps he was so used to the white noise in his head he had never consider it could just not be there, and that was why, at the second Marcus pressed that button and the white noise simply vanished, that Khan knew for sure that his family was dead.

Something broke inside him. 

His hands were trembling and he couldn't breathe. He couldn't pull the trigger more than a couple of times, doing nothing more than break the windows and cause the officers to run in panic. Shallow gaps, teary eyes and so much silence in his head overwhelmed him. This couldn't be, this simply couldn't be... and yet, there was no more doubt in his mind and heart that it was. 

Ice blue eyes found a pair of crystal blue staring at him with such confusion and he wondered why and found he actually didn't care; he wanted to leave that place, as soon as possible. 

His plan forgotten, he used the warp to run, outside Federation space and more, until he could run no more.

Sands storms and ambient noise filled his ears and yet it was simply not enough to fill the utter, terrible silence in his head. Dunes and ruins filled his vision and he found no comfort in Kronos; not even this place with such a hostile landscape could do something to distract him of the horrible silence in his head.

With shaky hands, Khan lifted the hood of his cloak and moved around the ruined area, seeking the shadows to cover him and the wrecked storm to fill his ears. It did no good, the silence was too overwhelming, too strong... too absolute.

Finding refuge was mere luck, he was not actually looking for it. His instincts took over, assuring he was to survive in a hostile environment, something inside knowing he was about to simply stop functioning.

It wasn't until the shadow of shelter covered him and the sand storm was at its peak that realization finally hit him with the force of a legion: 

His family was dead. 

He was alone. 

Utterly, absolutely and ultimately alone.

He screamed his throat raw, tearing at his hair and scratching at his own flesh. Punching, scratching, slashing and kicking did nothing to ease his pain. He screamed until he had no voice and as soon as he recover it, he screamed some more. He cried bitter tears; his pain flowing as the coldest and most broken river anyone could find. He cursed life, God, fortune, time, the universe, the known, and the unknown. He cursed his creators, his persecutors, his decisions, taken and omitted. He cursed everything and everyone. He screamed, he begged, he pledged and repented. He cursed anew and screamed just to scream alone, until he could hold himself no more.

Stumbled on a corner of his wrecked shelter, Khan had no more tears to cry and no voice to speak, no strength left and no will to carry him; because nothing could change the fact that here and now, he had been robbed of everything and everyone. 

He was lost... and there was no one out there to find him.

Khan closed his eyes, letting the silence consume the remains of his mind and drowned in his cursed solitude.

\----------

John Harrison's attack ended as suddenly as it started, leaving in its wake several high officers wounded and a wave of commotion, but also, for a few, a taste of uneasiness and confusion.  
One of those few was James T. Kirk, who, upon crossing his vision with the attacker, found something he didn't expect to see: pain.

The attack itself was too short, its ending too abrupt, as if cut short for some reason. Related reports indicated that at the same time of the attack, a high security storage warehouse outside the city exploded, killing a few guards and destroying the storage material. The two events were quickly connected, but even as the evidence was there and it made some sort of sense, Kirk found himself questioning what had just happened. 

He wasn't the only one, Spock, just like him, was in a string of unanswered questions and stirring suspicions. The course of events screamed 'illogical' through and through, as the given evidence was not enough to fulfill the holes of the chopped story John Harrison left behind and he couldn't leave it alone.

Admiral Pike was another of those unsure of the conclusion given to the up to date thread of events. Even if the attack left him hospitalized, it wasn't enough to diffuse his attention and need to find the truth. He entrusted Kirk with his concerns and his first officer responded with a share of his own related to the issue, but more than that, was the reveal of the order that came from above to him.

"Can you repeat that?" Pike said, narrowing his eyes at his First Officer, who shifted uncomfortable under the gaze of his Captain and Mentor.

"Admiral Marcus has order the - and I quote - annihilation of the terrorist John Harrison," Kirk showed him the PADD with the order, "We have several locations pin pointed and as soon as one is confirmed, we are to go and, well, kill him."

Pike was silent for a long moment, reading the report and occasionally eying his First Officer with concern. "He reassigned Spock to The Enterprise," Kirk nodded, "He is to be your First Officer as you are Captain in my absence."

"Yes, sir."

Pike sighed, "I don't like this."

"Me neither, sir."

The silent statement was there; both thought this was too suspicious and highly against what Starfleet stands for. This mission was clearly military in nature and probably going against more regulations that Spock would be able to quote.

"Spit it out son," Christopher eventually said, "I can almost hear you think."

Kirk opened his mouth, shutting it after a second to shake his head, but Pike waited and eventually, Kirk talked. "I don't like this... it feels wrong."

"It's wrong, son."

"Then why?" Jim looked at his mentor in the eye, "This man... there's more to him than just these attacks, something... something was wrong with him when he went against the Head Officers, is just," Kirk hesitated, but Pike patiently waited for him to gather his thoughts, "Someone deliberately shooting to kill shouldn't look so... shocked."

"You noticed, didn't you?"

"Sir?"

Pike relaxed against the pillows and closed his eyes, "I saw the footage, I caught the moment you were looking at him and he was looking at you... that expression... you're right Kirk, there has to be more to it than we are being told and I cannot let his go unnoticed."

He handed the PADD back to Kirk and the young Captain analyzed the words carefully, searching for what he wanted to see and finding it.

"I won't kill Harrison."

"You won't."

"But I have to bring him back to answer for his crimes," Kirk licked his lips, "And because whatever is happening, he is the key piece that can unravel the..."

He didn't want to say it and Pike sighed, "Yes, he's the key to unravel this... conspiracy."

It left a bad after taste to know something was rotting deep in the chain of command of the Federation, but at least they had a clue. Now they had to bring that clue back, at whatever cost.

\----------

Walking without direction was not a conscious decision. He just got up and started walking in between destroyed structures and dust covered paths, chasing natural noise to ease the absolute, terrible silence in his head that was, minute by minute, consuming his sanity.

Khan was not even looking the paths he took or the sectors he was crossing. It was only because he chose that place beforehand knowing it was an inhabit area that he had not encounter someone, but he was not hiding his presence, he was just wandering aimlessly.

The noise decreased when the night fell, the storm was passing and the sepulchral silence around him was matching the hollow one in his head.

He screamed, as loud as he could, because he couldn't take the silence, it was absurd that such thing could get him, but it did.

A bright light shone over him and there were screams in a heavy language he could only partially understand. Khan lifted his eyes, locating the source of the bright light on him; he distinguished a Klingon ship, demanding his surrender. The squad descended quickly, guns pointing at him and questions he could not fully understand were screamed at him, demanding an answer. 

"It's not enough," Khan said to himself with fury in his voice, "So much noise and it's not enough to drown the silence!"

He fought, because he needed more noise, needed screams and a battle, he needed his heart to pound in his ears so loud it would drown the silence of absence.

The Klingon warriors were worthy opponents, his voices rough and loud, their battle cries full of rage and determination.

But it wasn't enough.

"Louder..." Khan dodged another attack to serve one of his own, "Louder!"

He was screaming and so were his opponents, showing the rage of warriors in a fight, willing to take down the opponent that dared to defy them. Khan didn't care; he just wanted the noise of the battle.

A sharp pain ran through his body when he found himself face to face with the leader of the squad. The proud Klingon had a knife deeply buried in Khan's gut, holding him against the weapon to make as much damage as possible, spitting words in his language to an enemy that could barely understand him and that was well, because Khan's heart was pounding so loud in his ears it was able to drown the silence for a moment.

Khan placed one hand over the Klingon's wrist and the other on the warrior's shoulder, eyes shifting between the blade buried in his gut and the eyes of the warrior holding it.

"notlhbe' Dotlh 'IQ" The words were spat with a curious glance from its speaker "He'So' notlhbe' Dotlh 'IQ"

You stink of sorrow, human.

The Klingon warrior twisted the knife a little before taking it back and tossing Khan to the waiting arms of two of his companions. Khan's knees almost gave out under his own weigh, he was being held in place by the two Klingons as the one with the knife searched him.

His heart rate was slowing down, no longer pounding in his ears and the silence was above everything else again. Khan made a noise like a wounded animal and fought again with renewed strength, although his movements were less coordinated. This earned him painful hits and a several long strike across the back.

Instinct took over and he was fighting for his life, until he was done with his opponents and fled before another squad could locate him.

Drops of blood trailed his walk across sand and stone, he didn't even notice. 

Another storm was approaching. He found shelter in the ruins of what once could have been an imposing place, now reduced to debris.

His uneasy steps took him to a desolated corner, almost falling face first upon stumbling with the wreckage around. He slide down the corner onto the floor and closed his eyes, covering his ears with his hands and cursed the silence.

\----------

As Jim pointed out, there was no logic in attacking the Kelvin Archive by itself. The true motive behind that had been other that actually made sense and Spock could accept that. 

The Warehouse attack was another detail; it made less sense, until a statement was released by Admiral Marcus about it and the Kelvin Archive, clearing access to others to what was known as Section 31, a defense project.

The details of such warehouse were very neat. Everything was in order and that only made it more suspicions, especially because the last day the records had been updated was a day before the attack.

Weapons, the warehouse had been full of high technological weapons, photon torpedoes to be exact. Weapons designed by Harrison himself under a cover project created in preparation of defense against the growing Klingon menace. A defense crippled and sabotaged by Harrison later on. 

The Official statement was given by Admiral Marcus. He stated John Harrison a traitor, probably in his way to the enemy to sell whatever secrets he had for them to use against the Federation and therefore the Earth's defenses.

Spock read the reports, heard the declarations, analyzed the evidence and concluded that, to the naked eye, it was a most credible story. The fact that Montgomery Scott was able to confirm that after the attack, Harrison used the warp technology to flee to Kronos only gave more credibility to Marcus statements.

John Harrison was a rogue agent, a traitor to the Federation and more important, to Earth.

Spock could accept that... the logic behind it was acceptable.

What he could not accept, however, was the connection between the meeting and the attack at the storage warehouse. It didn't make sense for Harrison to reunite the High Officers as distraction to destroy another portion of the projects developed in Section 31. He didn't need the distraction, it was unnecessary and therefore, the conclusion that Harrison's actions against Section 31 and the Head Officers were connected to the attack to the warehouse was simply illogical.

It wasn't his place to question this man's connections or motives, but he was First Officer of USS Enterprise, the Flagship sent to his capture – His murder.

Jim told him how his conversation with Pike went and how they were to alter their orders... Spock was quick to agree with the notion; Harrison was to be capture and brought back for a trial, as regulations marked.

It was the nature of their original orders what brought Spock to investigate more about the destroyed warehouse and the long range photon torpedoes, now destroyed. He wasn't expecting to find Admiral Marcus' daughter involved in the project, much less he expected her to come to him to collaborate.

Carol Marcus was assigned to continue with the work John Harrison left behind after his desertion, but the information she got was incomplete and the specs of the weapons were never properly handled to her. She was suspicious of this; her father was keeping information from her, something important, something she couldn't turn a blind eye and ignore.

It took a combined effort from Spock and Carol and some help from Jim to get into the more secure archives and dig into the information that was not supposed to be seen by their eyes. When they found proof of what they were looking for, it was also solid evidence that they were in the middle of a conspiracy.

John Harrison didn't exist until a year ago. Poorly recorded medical 'tests' had been done in his persona, too high in number to be standard procedures and the results were questionable at best and more than a little abnormal.

The three of them started to question who John Harrison really was, what his real role in all this mess was and how his recent actions connected with the present events. But it wasn't until they got access to the pictures taken from what was left of the warehouse when the three of them felt truly conflicted. These pictures told a story they shouldn't have known, because these were pictures that technically didn't exist. 

The report stated half dozen dead and half dozen wounded... yet the pictures showed more bodies than that, far more... and a single report stating the 'cleaning process' completed.

Carol covered her mouth, feeling sick. Jim's hands were trembling and Spock stared at the screen in silence. There was no need to announce a massacre out loud, the evidence spoke for itself.

\----------

The day they were to depart in pursuit of John Harrison, an intruder was caught sabotaging their ship. If Scotty had not taken upon himself to teach this man that no one messed with the Enterprise, Kirk would have done it, for now he was content watching as his Chief Engineer taught the guy a lesson.

"Captain..."

"Yes, Spock?"

"I would advise for Mr. Scott to stop and hand the intruder over to security." 

Jim looked over Security who just as himself were watching Scotty beat the living daylights of the one who dared to mess up with their ship. 

He waited another five minutes, until Spock elbowed him in the ribs, sharply.

"Alright, alright!" Jim walked over to Scotty, who was not paying attention to them.

"And don't you dare set a foot near this bloody ship again you bastard!"

"Come on Scotty, let the guys take him to the Fleet, he's going to face justice."

"Have you any idea what could have happened if our core malfunctions?!" Scotty pointed out, "Stuck in the middle of enemy territory or worse!"

Jim exchanged a look with Spock, who nodded. They were to discuss this, for this mission was turning out to be far more dangerous than they anticipated.

"What do you think?" Jim asked to his First Officer and the Vulcan answered.

"If we follow the course of statements, we could conclude this sabotage could have been stage by an ally of Harrison in order to prevent us to reach him."

"But we know the course of statements is utter bullshit," Jim hissed and Spock rose and eyebrow.

"Yes," he simply agreed. "There is no possible way for Harrison to have this event arranged, unless it was beforehand, but due recent events, seems unlikely..."

"So," Jim walked around the currently empty bridge with his hands behind his back, "We get Harrison and our ship conveniently gets stuck in enemy territory... where we can be attacked at any given moment... that sounds..."

"Convenient," Spock finished. 

"Exactly," Jim agreed. "The question is... to whom?"

They decided to carry on their mission, not before making some arrangements to delay the delivery of the rouge agent who tried to sabotage the ship. So they could have some time ahead from whoever was shadowing them, someone who appear more than desperate to stop them to bring Harrison back. For the moment they had a rogue agent on the brig and a mission to accomplish that was looking more dangerous by the second, and it had nothing to do with the Klingons.

\----------

Jim, Spock, Uhura and two security officers went down to Kronos in a small ship, trailing the signal that could lead them to John Harrison. They successfully managed to avoid a Klingon patrol in their way and finally Jim decided to land in an inhabited area, where the last know location of Harrison was marked.

They found the remains of a fight covered by the sand and dust of the last storm, but some things were still visible.

"Captain!" Uhura called urgently and Jim was at her side a moment later.

It was not very easy to distinguish, but Uhura managed to find something resembling a trail that leaded them inside the destroyed area. Big droplets of what resembled dried blood lead them to a fallen structure that could function as a shelter for Harrison. With much caution, they entered the place.

"In need light here," Jim murmured and soon one of the secure officers used a torch to illuminate the place and almost dropped it when, thanks to the light, they found their target stumbled in a corner.

Phasers pointed towards the direction, Jim exchanged looks with Spock. Harrison was not moving; he had not even shows signs of notice them.

"John Harrison!" Jim said out loud and the only respond he got was a twitch from Harrison. Frowning, they got closer, phasers ready and suspicions as high as it could get. 

"Commander Harrison," Spock was the one speaking this time, but got no answer. He exchanged a look with Jim, silently asking for permission to get closer, Jim was by his side in a second, he was not letting Spock do this alone.

Once close enough, they were able to see that Harrison's eyes were closed, his breathing was elaborated and he either was unconscious or was pretending to be. 

There was a heavy cloud of doubt over Spock's mind, for he had seen more than what Starfleet wanted them to know about Harrison and couldn't simply let it go. Against his better judgment, he reached for Harrison's face, putting his fingers in place before Jim could stop him.

They talked about Spock doing the mind melt and Jim refused at the time, saying he didn't want to put Spock at risk. But Spock saw the solid evident along Carol Marcus, both of them saw it first hand and he couldn't pass it as if he did not relate.

Spock gasped and Harrison finally moved; eyes wide open and confusion filling them. He pushed Spock and stumbled against the wall, disoriented. Spock stumbled backwards, avoiding Jim and putting distance between Harrison and himself.

Jim cursed under his breath and moved a closer to Harrison, phaser still in hand, but the man barely acknowledged him. Kirk risked a touch, his fingers trailing Harrison's brow.

"He's sick," he pressed his hand full on, feeling ice cold sweat on fire hot skin, "Burning up."

"Captain..." 

Jim almost jumped, and it took all his composure to not take his hand away from Harrison's face. 

Ice Blue eyes, empty and nearly void of life looked at him and Jim almost winced. There was a trail of blood running down Harrison's lip to his chin, his face was bruised and he was trembling.

"John Harrison," he repeated, "You are—"

"I surrender."

Jim shut his mouth with an audible click barely hidden by Harrison's elaborated breath. The man uncurled a little, sharing a long stare with Jim, who hesitated for a moment.

"I... accept you surrender."

Jim asked for the security team to come over, both officers looked between Harrison and their Captain before approaching with the cuffs and securing Harrison's hands. It was only then, when the process of cuffing him and bringing him to his feet was done, that Jim noticed the pool of blood around Harrison and the state of his clothes. The man was hurt and sick, but Jim had the feeling that despite this, his surrender had nothing to do with these facts.

"We have to get him out of here," Jim got to his feet. "Careful, he's injured."

Harrison put no fight, no effort, nothing. He just let himself be lead, almost dragged to the ship and Jim felt this whole thing as wrong. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Uhura talking to Spock. His First Officer was a little pale and Uhura looked visible upset.

"Captain," Spock called for him, "It appears our suspicions... were accurate."

So, John Harrison was indeed the key to unravel a conspiracy... that didn't explain why Spock looked so pale and shaken.

"Spock?" He got closer, "What's wrong?"

The Vulcan shared a look with Uhura, who nodded quickly, and turned back to his Captain, "Jim... There's more."

Of course there was more... and he had the feeling he was not going to like it.

\----------

Leonard "Bones" McCoy was rather busy with his newest patient slash fugitive, who was given Bones a hard time, and not because he was fighting the doctor, not at all. Harrison was being oddly cooperative, doing as he was told without a single complain but not really replying to questions beyond 'yes' and 'no' answers. Bones was getting creative with his questions in order to get more information about his patient, who had to be rushed to a quick surgery upon arrival because apparently neglected to mention having his guts sliced open. Oh, and some of his wounds were infected and he had a dangerous fever.

Bones used another hypospray on Harrison, who barely flinched, and ran another scan. 

The wound on his abdomen alone had been dangerous enough to kill him, but he managed to survive. The fever was not helping his case and even thinking there was nothing 'normal' in Harrison's physiognomy, the man had sustain grave injuries and that was to be taken into consideration. The knife used to inflict the wound had been barbed, doing too much harm through its way. Bones suspected the fever was due something coating the blade at the moment of the attack.

Still, beyond all the physical damage, what really bothered Bones was the hollow, vacant expression in Harrison's eyes; either this man was a really good actor or something was very wrong with him and for the look Spock was given him, the second option was more likely.

The hobgoblin had been in and out of the med bay, trying to speak with Harrison with urgency, but Bones had to keep him back several times and just gave up on a few more, the results were the same; Harrison was barely answering question related to his health, ignoring everything else, Spock included.

Now it was Jim's turn. Their Captain was standing beside Harrison's biobed, looking at the man that was clearly ignoring him, and sharing a concerned look with his First Officer.

"Almost two years ago, the Federation found a ship adrift in an unexplored sector of space," Jim started, "All information revolving this ship was kept in secret, including the fate of its crew."

Harrison flinched and his eyes that previously had been looking at nothing encountered Jim's.

"They are dead." The rasped, broken voice said and Harrison was suddenly looking at something that was not there.

"But they weren't... until a few days ago."

Bones shoot Jim a questioning look but Jim was staring at Harrison, who shifted his vision, looking at the Captain again with eyes that looked glassy and in far too much pain.

"They are gone, all of them," Harrison deadpanned. "Murdered... destroyed... gone…"

Jim let the silence hung for a moment and finally dared to place a hand over Harrison's shoulder, "I'm sorry."

Harrison closed his eyes.

\----------

It was no news to Bones how persistent Jim could be, he was the man's subrogate brother, of course he knew the levels of persistence that said blue-eyed Iowa genius could reach. Still, he was impressed. 

He managed to convince their unlikely prisoner to talk to him, reveling important information that was more than useful, starting with his real name. 

Bones overwrite the file, adding "Khan" to it as he marked the progress of his intriguing patient's health state. Khan was still weak and not really healing, Bones had a feeling this had nothing to do with whatever poison the Klingon used along the blade, but something more physiological in Khan's current mood, but he couldn't prove it for now, he lacked facts in order to do so.

He asked Jim to try and get something related to the issue out of Khan in their now constant conversations. Said conversations felt one sided most of the time, but Jim's persistence proved to be still as effective as Bones knew it was, eventually getting Khan to talk to him.

If everything Khan said was true, then they had the last of the Augments from the 21th Century in the sickbay of the Enterprise, survivor of the massacre of his people at the hands of a corrupted Federation Admiral. 

Talk about pressure. 

Bones had to point out that Khan was in danger himself, and it had nothing to do with Marcus hunting him, but the fact that he just wasn't healing as he should. It was as if the will to live had simply left him. It was a shame when Spock confirmed that this was most likely the case.

The merging he performed with Khan on Kronos had been quick and uncoordinated, but gave Spock a lot of information that helped them conclude the main reason as to why Khan was close to let himself fade. 

Khan didn't know he shared some sort of telepathic connection with his brothers and sisters. It had always been there, an ever present white noise in the back of his head. Say connection was severed and destroyed so abruptly it nearly drove Khan mad when it happened. Now the man was just there, existing, but not really caring of what was to happen to him.

It shouldn't have surprise anyone when Jim took upon himself to get a reaction out of Khan, and much less than he succeeded. Jim already had a second name, so his third had to be 'Stubborn', because evidence speaks for itself.

Now, Bones was watching Jim babble away a mile per hour about a number of topics he didn't bother to track, while Khan stared at the young Captain with a blank expression, but the augmented was more or less listening, if he looked either extremely reluctant or plain bored, Bones couldn't decide, but at least he was showing some reaction, not matter how minimum it was.

It took another few days for Bones to notice that the way Khan was responding to Jim had more weight than they first thought and a comment from Spock to confirm it was an important development. 

Bones observed the results of the latest health scan he performed on Khan and was satisfied to see some improvement, it was better than nothing.

\----------

Alexander Marcus was part of a not so small group in control of the officially-nonexistent Section 31, there were several operations involved, including the design and manufacture of weapons and a Dreadnought-class vessel, the unmarked USS Vengeance. All this with military objectives, defense being the most explained one of course. Although a great defense was not rejected, Starfleet was not a military operation and the 'Klingon menace' would remain still as long as they didn't provoke them.

A provocation would have happen if the Enterprise had been found adrift in the edge of the neutral zone after setting fire to the planet, if the sabotage had been successful... The Klingons would have attacked and a war would have ensured.

Kirk included these conclusions in his report, with as most detail as he could; including the information he managed the dig from Section 31, Marcus' involvement, and Khan's testimony.

Needless to say, the reactions to this were strong and not positive.

Several showed their displeasure and this leaded to Alexander Marcus' martial arrest. A lot of cadets were uneasy and the rumors about toy soldiers started to run wild. 

No one was really sure when or how the information about the annihilation of the Botany Bay's crew leaked, but now many knew the nature of the explosion in the storage warehouse. The information was classified and Starfleet refused to release a proper statement to the media, stating that the event was still under investigation. Still, even with the fast damage control and exhausting PR work, the words 'massacre', 'war' and 'conspiracy' floated all over HQ and the united efforts to keep them from the media were almost superhuman.

Fingers were pointed and the name James T. Kirk was highlighted. Admiral Pike was doing his best to keep Kirk out of the picture, stating that his work was done and higher officers from Starfleet would carry on with the investigations and procedures, but not everyone shared Pike's vision, especially those when saw themselves deeply affected by Marcus' arrest upon Kirk's denounce. 

Kirk felt everyone was watching and that he had virtually painted a target on the back of his head. He wasn't expecting that said target was not so 'virtual' after all.

\----------

Khan was vaguely aware of his surroundings. The noise of the city reached his him over the dead silence in his head every once in a while, allowing him to recall where he was and what he was doing. Currently, he was standing a few feet of the Martial Court were his testimony was required yet another time. Close to him was Kirk, speaking to his Vulcan First Officer about something Khan really didn't care.

He shifted his eyes from the ground, around him were several Security Officers dressed in their formal Starfleet uniforms, pretending to casually stand near their Captain and not what they were actually doing: making sure their unlikely witness in custody slash suspect slash unexpected victim was still with them.

Khan kept to himself for the most part. He didn't speak if he was not spoken to, not feeling the need to do so. His expression was mostly vacant and generally didn't care for what was going on around him. If not for Kirk's efforts, the Augmented would just sit and stare at a wall all day.

Spoke suggested that Khan's behavior was some kind of PTSD and that perhaps further assistance would be required in order to help him. Kirk told him to stop speaking in riddles and just call 'the old man' if he necessary. Spock raised an eyebrow, not entirely happy with the vocabulary, but agreed to contact this 'old man' anyway.

Khan didn't particularly care, he just stepped a little closer to Kirk and when the Captain took his arm to guide him towards the street, he followed without a word.

"Is this really necessary?" Kirk complained again, "He has been questioned enough times already."

"I suspect they seek for more substantial answers," Spock pointed out, "Though the lasts were substantial enough, in my opinion."

"They are asking the same questions, just with different words."

"Yes, they are most likely looking for any inconsistence."

"It's annoying!"

Spock refrained from answer, but he agreed.

The last time Khan had been asked to give his testimony, he did so with as much detail as possible, in part because Kirk told him it was necessary, in part because if he did so, maybe the whole thing would soon be over. 

He was tired and the silence was still too overwhelming. It hurt his ears.

It was perhaps of said silence that he noticed the sounds that didn't belong around them: the extra footsteps and the strangely clear path around them. Khan lifted his eyes in time to see the man at a distance bracing his hand and the weapon being pointed. His mind had already traced the trajectory of the shoot before he could consciously do it and the target was not him.

Khan moved a tone with a voice in his head screaming something similar to not again, don't let it happen again. The commotion started with him pushing Kirk aside and drowned whit the sudden hit of pain that shocked his body. He didn't notice how clear the sky was that day until he was on his back staring at it. He searched with blurry eyes and, ah, he was safe, Kirk was safe but his expression showed pain and Khan couldn't understand why. There was blood in Kirk's hands, maybe he wasn't fast enough and Kirk got hurt after all. 

What a shame, had he failed again? It wasn't fair... he was just starting to feel less awful thanks to Kirk and he had already failed to protect him as well.

The noise around him was muffled now and his head felt as if wrapped in cotton. He was having troubles to breath and he could taste copper on his tongue. Kirk was screaming and he couldn't understand what the blonde was saying, this normally would have spiked his sense of awareness off the charts, but at the moment he was not in his optimal condition, neither physically nor mentally, as result everything felt as if was piling up around him, leaving him dazed and confused.

Khan blinked slowly, his vision was turning darker around the edges and Kirk's frenetic movements appear to be in slow motion now. Khan felt a painful pressure on his chest, making his already elaborated breathing even harder.

White noise ringed in his ears. He knew this was not the same white noise in the back of his head that he used to have when his family was alive, for that was a void space that could never be filled, a part of him so shattered that it was difficult to recognize. He knew this white noise was not the one he wanted to hear, but it was better than the silence, so he welcomed it.

He couldn't tell when the world stopped making sense, but that was ok, at least the silence was not hurting him so much anymore.

\----------

The sky was grey, the sun hidden behind heavy clouds; he liked it because it was raining. The rain was falling gently with no wind to hustle its descent and he observed the rain drops plunge and pool on the ground.

Khan liked the sound of the rain, it soothed him.

He must be dreaming, because the garden he was in looked exactly as he remember it from his childhood and such place was long gone. Still, the shooting rain and the familiar place were welcomed and he sat comfortably on the stone bench to observe the rain drops fall over the plants and flowers around him.

Khan closed his eyes, wanting to feel the rain on his face and its sound to fill his ears. 

The wind made its presence and Khan opened his eyes, searching for the unexpected strange company in the scenery and finding it a few feet from where he sat.

Dressed in blue and dark grey and a calm expression on his face, stood an older man that Khan somehow felt he knew, yet it was the first time he encountered him.

"Mr. Spock," he sounded so sure, but in reality it was a question, he was hesitant of his conclusion, but the man nodded in confirmation. "Ambassador."

"Mr. Singh," The older Spock greeted, "It appears that our encounters are always unusual."

"I have never seen you before... well, not this you."

"Correct," He gestured to the bench and Khan nodded, allowing him to sit beside him, "You may know my younger counterpart."

"Yes... and I read about you... although the files were scarce."

"Well, I like to work along Starfleet but prefer to not have my personal file so exposed, "Spock smiled, "Many things are different from my time and many things have changed from what I used to know... including my remembrance of you, Khan Noonien Singh." 

"Oh?" Khan tilted his head to a side, "Is that something to regret?"

Spock dissented with a gesture of his hand, "It is not. If anything, I must say I find this difference favorable, while the circumstances are most unfortunate."

The sky darkened and Khan stared at the ground with a frown on his face and his hands tightly clutching his thighs. He was taken out of his stupor when Spock gently placed his own hand over one of Khan's, prompting the younger man to look at the Vulcan in the eye.

"I am deeply sorry for your loss, Mr. Singh."

He sounded so sincere. His tone of voice carried certain emotion his younger counterpart's did not and Khan believed him to be honest.

"I failed them," his own tone was soft, almost a whisper to be lost yet caught by the listener, "I should have known they were alive... and I did not until it was far too late."

The thunder rumbled in the distance and the rain was colder as it ran in rivulets down his face and dropped from the strands of hair falling over his face. 

Spock took Khan's hand in both his, shifting the younger man's focus towards him.

"I cannot lie and even so, I would not do so in such somber times," He began, Khan gave him his attention as he spoke. "Losing so many as you did it's a wound that, unfortunately, will never fully heal, I speak from experience, yet I can assure you that with time and support, it gets bearable."

"It will never be fine."

"It will not."

"But..." Khan looked to the grey sky again, "I was feeling somehow... better... before getting here."

Spock chuckled, owing an odd look from Khan, "He has that effect of people, and most of us tend to mellow down to his presence."

The image of certain blonde Captain flashed before him and Khan understood Spock's words and related to them.

"I... The silence was less painful when he talked to me... he made the void lesser, somehow."

Spock nodded, "He asked to bring you back."

Khan blinked, confused and then remembered that this place was most likely not real. 

"Did he?"

"He was quite insistent," Spock confirmed and tightened his hold of Khan's hand, "You have been here a long time already."

"It doesn't feel as such," He countered, "I was just starting to feel... not really better... perhaps just not as bad."

"Perhaps... but you certainly were not feeling better."

Spock got up, one hand still holding Khan's and looked over the path leading outside the garden, towards a field that seemed to have no end. His eyes shifted to Khan again, who looked reluctant to even get to his feet.

"What you have lost cannot be replaced and the pain will never truly fade," Spock said evenly, "You can either drown in such sorrow, as tempting as it is, or allow those near you to lesser the feeling... to make it bearably."

Khan observed the older Vulcan for a long moment, "Are you talking from experience again?"

"It pleases me to say I am," the Vulcan smiled and it was something gentle and with far more understanding that Khan thought any Vulcan was capable of, "It is your decision Mr. Singh, but please bear in mind there are people waiting for you to return."

"It's far too soon," Khan was not talking about returning, Spock understood he was talking about that connection he felt with the Captain, connection he was not sure of wanting to acknowledge.

"I said you made an impression, as he did."

Khan gripped Spock's hand in return and slowly got to his feet, eyeing the path outside the garden with questioning eyes.

"The silence is not going away," He stated, "It never will."

"The void will remain, but it can be lessened," Spock gave him a gentle tug forwards, "Even more so, for you are not alone."

"Am I not?"

"You are not."

It was a nice statement and he wanted to believe it, so he let himself be lead, giving the odds a chance.

The sky cleared a bit as they walked down the road and the rain felt shooting again. 

\----------

His eyes focused on an Older Spock, he was slowly taking his hands away from his face with a pleasant smile on his lips. Behind him hovered a worry looking James T. Kirk, a curious younger Spock and a noticeable annoyed Doctor McCoy.

Khan looked around as the older Spock moved to give him more room. As he did so, his eyes encountered Kirk's, whose expression morphed from worry to joy so quickly Khan almost felt compelled to join him, if not for the fact that he was feeling yet so tired, still he honestly smiled when the Captain did so as well. Kirk extended a hand towards him in invitation.

"Welcome back."

Taking Jim's hand on his own, Khan sighed in content, noting the silence almost wasn't hurting his ears anymore.


End file.
